Hey Parents,
It's Wednesday, so it's time for this week's blog with all the info you need for the week!
1. BIGNITE is TONIGHT! We're gonna be grilling out dogs and burgers and playing some kickball over at Moss-Wright park from 5:30 - 7:30. We'll be meeting up near the sand volleyball courts so that's where you can drop off and pick up your students. The event is free so bring your kids and bring a neighbor's kids!
2. Sunday morning, our students will be diving into the book of Luke again during Sunday School....we get cranked up at 9:30!
3. Sunday night both our guys and girls Bible studies will be meeting at 6 PM (girls at the Kelly house, guys at the McMillan house).
4. All of you should receive a letter in the mail sometime this week about our Graduate Recognition breakfast that we will be having on Sunday morning, May 20th. Please be prepared to help us out in honoring our seniors by providing a breakfast dish as instructed in the letter. If you are the parent of one of our seniors, please know that we don't expect you to cook anything...we just want you to come!
5. Parents of Seniors - I need 10-12 pictures of your seniors ASAP to put together the Senior video...it would be best if you could bring me a digital copy if you have one, but if not I can scan them in. Also we want to invite you to come in (at your earliest convenience) to record a audio message to your senior that we will play behind the pictures. You can call me (615-838-9755) or email me (Jeffkelly@fbcgoodlettsville.com) to set up a time to do this.
6. If your student is going to Centrifuge with us this summer, we need to get the second payment in towards their balance. This is a $100 payment. If you are using Kroger funds, please email me at the address above or Elizabeth (elizabeth@fbcgoodlettsville.com) to let us know so we can get the funds moved. If you have not paid your $50 deposit that was due last month, we will need a payment of $150 this week to hold your student's spot. After this coming Sunday we will begin the process of dropping spots that have been left unpaid (if we don't it ends up costing the church an extra $50 per student spot that we hold onto that is left vacant). Please contact me if we need to work out additional payment options for you and your student, and we'll be happy to do so!
7. During the week of June 4-8 we will be hosting VBS and GFUGE here at FBCG. As part of our GFUGE event we are in need of 4-5 homes that would be willing to let 8-12 students crash at their homes on Mon-Thurs evenings. You would not be responsible for feeding any meals to students, but rather simply allowing a place for them to crash and sleep in the evenings. We also would need you to help us transport them to the church for VBS each morning and to help get them back to your homes each evening. I know this is a lot to ask (4 whole nights!!!) but this is a crucial component of the social aspect of the event. If you would be willing to help us by hosting a group of students please let me know ASAP!
8. Friday night, May 18th we will be having a campout and bonfire at the Boxwell Springs Boyscout campground. This will be a co-ed event with students sleeping in cabins. We'll grill on the bonfire, play some capture the flag and have a great night of fun...more details TBA next week.
That's a lot of info so let me know if you have any questions....below you'll find a little self-check for you as parents this week:
5 Signs You Lack Integrity as a Parent
We all want to see our kids become the kind of people we imagine they can become. To some degree we want to see that in their careers, but at the most basic level we want to see that in their character and heart.
How do you do that? I recently heard Mary DeMuth summarize it beautifully, "Become the person you want your child to become."
Two words: "Wow" and "Exactly." That's it, isn't it? The problem, of course, is that for many of us, we long to see in our kids things we don't see in ourselves. And that's an issue - an integrity issue.
And the older your kids get, the easier it is for them to spot an integrity issue in you as a parent. If you want them to be something or do something and they don't see it in you, things fall apart pretty quickly.
Integrity is about making it through trauma. The Latin root for the word simply means "in tact." In the same way we speak of a building that survived a hurricane as having structural integrity, a person shows they have integrity when they survive a crisis or stand up to a test. And sometimes parenting feels like a non-stop series of tests. It tests everything we've got.
While there are many things that compromise our integrity, here are five signs that how your integrity as a parent needs to grow:
1. It's about you, not them.
Do a heart check. It's great to want your child to be honest or responsible. But why? Is it because you want to see that in them? Or is it also because you want to be known as a mom or a dad with great kids? If it's about you more than it's about them, they'll eventually realize it and it will lessen their trust in you.
2. You aren't modeling what you're saying.
It's one thing to tell your kids to control their temper. It's another thing to control yours. It goes without saying that what you do carries far more influence than what you say, unless what you say is consistent with what you do.
3. You and your spouse aren't on the same page.
I realize this is almost an epidemic in parenting, but you simply need to do the hard work of getting agreement on key issues with your spouse. The older your kids get, the more important this is. Not only will your kids learn to manipulate the gap they see, the gap itself is confusing and disappointing to them. Although they might never admit it, they want you to be on the same page.
4. You fail to do what you said you were going to do.
This isn't just about keeping promises; it's about keeping your word in everything. Better to say nothing and surprise your kids by delivering something great than blurt out an intention you can't fulfill. Don't promise a trip to Disney when you can't even afford a trip to Dollywood. Don't say you'll be there at 3:30 and show up at 3:45. Ultimately, your kids lose confidence in you when you fail to deliver. It's a trust issue. Under-promise and over-deliver.
5. You are a controlling parent.
Controlling parents ultimately lose the hearts of their kids. If you don't believe me, ask yourself this question: how do you as an adult like it when someone tries to control you? Precisely. Why would your kids be any different? You can be authoritative without being authoritarian. If you are trying to control everything your child does, you might be successful when your kids are in preschool, but when high school comes along, it will be a whole other story. Control incites either compliance or rebellion. It never creates healthy relationships.
If you start to address issues like these, you will grow in integrity. You will become more of the person you want your child to become!
What insights have you guys gained on parenting with integrity? What would you add to this list?
Have a great week!
Jeff
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