This Week @ FBCG: G-Fuge Edition

Hey Parents,

Next week is going to be a full week in the life of our church and our student ministry here at FBCG.  We will be hosting VBS and G-Fuge.  I trust most of you know what VBS is but below you will find all the info you need for G-Fuge and how your kids can plug in.  So here we go....

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT - we're gonna look at Job and talk about what true character is and ask the question "Does God ever consider me?....."  Send your youthies to The Attic tonight @ 5:45 to learn what that question means!

2.  All the below information about G-Fuge will be coming to you in a letter form by the end of this week....we wanted to make sure there was no excuse for you parents not to have it....so you can read it now here on the blog, or wait until your letter arrives....or both!!!

G-FUGE 2012

Parents,

Next week, June 4-8, we’ll be hosting our G-FUGE 2012 event, corresponding with the church-wide VBS.  Here’s what you need to know:

What is G-Fuge?

G-Fuge is a week long experience where our students will have the opportunity to serve our community through working in VBS and afternoon mission projects.  Our evenings will be filled with a group time of worship and Bible study and will conclude with students going back to host homes to “crash” for the night.

What’s the Schedule for G-Fuge?

Monday -Thursday                                                                 Friday

9:00 - Arrive for VBS                                                     9:00 - Arrive for VBS

9:00 - 12:00 - VBS @ FBCG                                        9:00 - 12:00 - VBS @ FBCG

12:00 - 1:00 - Lunch provided @ FBCG                     12:00 - 1:00 - Lunch provided @ FBCG

1:00 - 4:00 - Depart FBCG for mission projects            1:00 - Students picked up from FBCG

4:30 - Students picked up from FBCG                          6:30 - Students arrive for Lock-Out

7:00 - Worship in The Attic                                          (picked up Saturday morning @ 8AM)

8:30 - Students leave for host homes

G-Fuge Parent Notes

• Cost is $80 which includes t-shirt, lock-out expenses, lunches, our speaker for the week, work materials for mission projects.
• Each afternoon we are asking parents to pick students up at 4:30 PM @ FBCG.  This will allow the students time to go home, shower, and eat dinner.  We realize this might be a problem for some families (picking students up at 4:30 and driving them back down each night by 7:00)...so we encourage families to carpool and work together to give our G-FUGE host homes an afternoon break and to cut down on expenses.  
• Also, if there is absolutely no way you can pick your student up, Mike and Ann Allen have agreed to allow students to come and crash at their house during the afternoons and we can even provide dinner for your child....all we ask is that you let us know each day if your child will be going to Mike’s.
• Your students will need to bring clothes that they can work in and get dirty in, snacks for evening crash times, a Bible, sleeping bag and pillow.  We also may ask students to bring some specific tools to help with our projects.
• Our host homes will be the Norman’s, and Brooks’ for the girls and the Allen’s for the guys.

• We understand that some students will need to miss parts of the week due to work schedules, sports and family issues.  Students are welcome to come and go as needed as long as they have informed Jeff or Josh of their need to be gone.
• We are requiring students to have participated in at least one day of G-FUGE activities (VBS or G-FUGE during the day and then the Worship time in the evening) to be eligible to go to the Lock-Out.
• Your $80 is due on Thursday, June 7th.  Also PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO SIGN YOUR STUDENTS UP ON THE CHURCH WEBSITE....this will allow us to get a correct and accurate t-shirt order placed.  You can find the sign-up at http://fbcgoodlettsville.com/gfuge
• As always, if finances are a cause of concern for you at this time, please let Jeff know as we have several senior saints who would love to sponsor a student in need of a little help.
• Lock-Out activities will include a movie (Snow White and The Huntsmen rated PG-13), swimming at the Roettger’s, Laser Quest downtown, bowling at Circus World in Hendersonville, and then breakfast and dodgeball back at the church.  Marty Meadows and Jeff Kelly will be transporting the students with the church bus and church van throughout the night.  NO STUDENTS WILL BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE DURING THE LOCK-OUT.
• Our guest speaker for the week will be Cesar Correa who served as Jeff and Crystal’s youth minister at Mt. Olive Baptist Church in Knoxville TN.  Jeff worked alongside Cesar for 6 years as he got his start in the ministry.  Cesar has recently left Mt. Olive as he is feeling God to use him to plan a new church in the city of Knoxville.  Cesar, a native Brazilian has a huge heart for the nations and for God’s missional call in all of our lives.  He has led groups to Brazil and Africa and has a heart for the lost.  Our students are going to have a great week walking through the story of Jonah with Cesar during our worship times each evening!
• If you have any questions or concerns please contact Jeff through his cell (615-838-9755) or through email Jeffkelly@fbcgoodlettsville.com

We are looking forward to a great week and we hope you are planning and ENCOURAGING your student to be a part of the week!  

In His Service,

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: End of School Edition

Parents,

Well the end of school is here and that also means the start of summer is here too!!  Praise the Lord!!  This is one of the last "quiet" weeks that we will have for a while so let me get you caught up on all the info you need to know:

1.  IGNITE is tonight....we'll meet in The Attic @5:45 and finish up our conversation on our identity in Christ.  Tonight we're gonna walk through what our purpose is from a Biblical foundation...we'll also play some Charades...gonna be a good night!

2.  This coming Sunday is Memorial Day....we'll have Sunday School and Sunday morning worship and then we'll take the evening off so there will be no Bible studies!

3.  Coming up the first week of June (June 4-8) we will be hosting VBS and GFUGE hear at FBC.  If your student has not already signed up to work VBS they can still come and hang out.  We also have our GFUGE sign-up link up and live on the church website (fbcgoodlettsville.com/gfuge.com).  Students can begin signing up and also I will be sending a letter out that you will receive at the end of this week with all the info that you will need!

The cost for the entire week is $80 which covers a t-shirt, lunch all week long, expenses for materials for the work week, our fantastic speaker that's coming in and also a lock-in to beat all lock-ins on Friday night!!  It's gonna be a great week!!

That's all I'm gonna give you this week...please let me know if you have any questions!  Have a great week!

Here's some food for thought for you this week:

5 Ways to Fight Entitlement in Your Kids
Like most parents, you feel this terrible tug.

On the one hand, you want to provide your child with every advantage.  On the other hand, sometimes it feels like when you do that, you're feeding an incredibly unhealthy characteristic in our culture.

For whatever reason, we're living in the midst of an entitlement epidemic.  Probably more than any other generation before us, our generation feels as though we have a right to things that used to be defined as wants, or even privileges.

Here's how the cycle starts:

On the day your child is born, it's easy to decide as a parent that you need to give your child every advantage.

So you compete.  You made sure he had bright colors in his nursery and exactly the right kind of mobile to stimulate his brain, but now it's an all out frenzy to ensure your preschooler can swim, skate, hit a ball, paint frame able art, read, write, and speak classical Greek before his 4th birthday.

And don't worry, because by the time you're done with the race to kindergarten, the culture has taken over feeding the frenzy.  Your child has now seen enough advertisements and made enough friends to believe that his or her every desire not only can be met, but should be met.  The boots that every other stylish kid is wearing are not a privilege, they are a right.  Or so you've been told.

And then other inalienable rights emerge: the right to a phone for texting, iPhones, Facebook and so much more.

Somewhere in the mix, you found yourself realizing that you are tempted to pay your kids every "act of service" rendered in the house, from emptying the trash to picking up each sock.

And you realize something is desperately wrong.  And you would be correct in that.

So, what do you do to fight entitlement in yourself and in your kids?  Here are five suggestions:

1.  Be clear on wants and needs.  Shelter, Food, Clothes...Take time to explain what is actually a need and what a want is.  Culture will never explain it to them.  You need to.

2.  Reclaim special occasions.  There is nothing wrong with not buying wants for your kids in every day life.  Save the special things for special occasions like birthdays, Christmas and the like.  You don't need to indulge for no reason.  In fact, you probably shouldn't.

3.  Set a budget and let them choose.  With back to school shopping and seasonal purchases, start setting a budget with your kids early and let them choose how they would spend it.  They become much more frugal shoppers when all of a sudden they realize that money is limited and they can get more if they shop around.

4.  Establish an allowance and expectations.  An allowance is a great way for kids to learn responsibility.  My father encouraged me and my sister to give 10 percent of every thing we earned, to save 10 percent, and live off the rest.  Explain what gets covered and not covered out of that allowance.

5.  Be clear about what you will never pay them for.  There are some things that you do because you are part of the family.  You can decide where that lands in your home.  Make a list of responsibilities that no one gets paid for that you do because you are part of the family.  To help with this, why not ask your kids what a reasonable list looks like.  Involving them will help them own the decision.  Second, make sure you follow up.  And hold them responsible for what you all agreed to do.  Otherwise you will be tempted to pay for everything or just roll your eyes daily and do it yourself.

Approaches like these can help you to raise kids who see life as a series of privileges, who live gratefully, and realize their responsibility to others.

How is our entitlement culture impacting your family?  And how have you learned to battle it?

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: Mother's Day Edition

Hey Parents,

Hope you're May has gotten off to a great start....we're coming up on Mother's Day this Sunday (don't worry, I'll gently remind your kids about that tonight @ IGNITE), Graduate Recognition, and Summer, so there's a lot of info that you will want....so here it is!

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT....We'll kick off at 5:45 up in The Attic so we hope to see your students tonight....we're going to tackle the question "Who Are You" and challenge students to take a long look at themselves so it's gonna be good stuff!

2.  We have NO BIBLE STUDIES this Sunday night due to Mother's Day!  That way moms, we can make sure the whole family has plenty of time to take you someplace nice!!

3.  Sunday, May 20th we will be having our Graduate Breakfast during Sunday School (which all of you should have received a letter in the snail mail in regards to what foods we need you to help provide).  We also will recognize our seniors during the 10:30 AM Worship service.  We have a great group of 8 students graduating this year and we are very proud of them!

4.  If you are the parent of a graduating senior, you should have received a special email from me today concerning senior pictures and video preparations.  I need you to respond to me ASAP if you're senior is to be included in the morning's festivities!

5.  Friday night, May 18th we'll be having a camp-out/bonfire at the Boxwell Springs boy scout campground.  Students will sleep in cabins and I will have more details for you next week in the blog so check back!!

6.  We are still in need of 4-5 houses willing to house students on the evenings of June 4-7 (Mon-Thurs) for our GFUGE event.  Host home families will not have to provide any meals and will only be needed to help possibly transport students from the church to the homes after our evening worship times (around 8:30 PM) and back to the church in the mornings for VBS....PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE think and pray about being willing to help make this weekend a bigger success for our student ministry by hosting some students!!

7.  If you're student in going to Centrifuge with us this summer than we need your second payment installment of $100 by this Sunday...if you need to make other financial arrangements, please let me know.  Also, if you are transferring money over from a Kroger account, please email me (Jeffkelly@fbcgoodlettsville.com) or Elizabeth (elizabeth@fbcgoodlettsville.com) to let us know of your intentions!

Hope you all have a great week...and below another thought for your Wednesday:

5 Ways to Build Integrity as a Parent
Last week we identified five signs that show you might lack integrity in your parenting.  Integrity is such a core issue.  Like a building that's well constructed, a leader who has integrity survives storms in tact.  And integrity is compelling.  We all want to be around people of integrity.  Why would our kids be any different?

The more integrity you have as a parent, the more your kids will appreciate your leadership in their lives.  Don't get me wrong, having integrity doesn't mean everything goes swimmingly as a parent.  It's just better for everyone in the end, and you end up becoming far more of the person God intends you to be.

So, how do you build integrity?  Here are 5 suggestions that can help you build integrity....

1.  Park your pride.

There actually is a world of difference between wanting great things for your kids and wanting to be known as a parent of a child who does great things.  Parents should encourage and at times even push their kids, but the best way to handle this, that I know of, is to do a motive check: Why and I pushing her?  Why am I encouraging him?  If it's more about you than it is about them, get on your knees and confess it.  God has a way of dealing with our selfish motivations.

2.  Become the person you want your child to become.


It is so much easier to see the faults in others than it is to admit our own and deal with them.  Start working on your own character as much as you work on your kids' character.  Enlist a friend.  Go see a counselor.  Educate yourself.  Make it a personal priority.  The healthier you get, the better chance your kids have of seeing what life can really be.

3.  Get on the same page as your spouse.


Yes, this is hard work.  And no, it can rarely be done in the moment.  Sit down with your spouse when there's no "issue" to debate and talk about your differences.  Be respectful, prayerful, and kind.  Decide together you are not going to quit at this until you can find some common ground.  Go see a counselor.  Talk to friends.  This is incredibly difficult work, but it's so worth it.  And where disagreement still exists, agree with what your partner said publicly and then address it afterwards privately, when the kids aren't around.  Your kids want you to be on the same page.  They really do.

4.  Do what you said you were going to do.


Doing what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it is actually the foundation of trust.  If you have a habit of making empty promises, stop.  Your kids can only handle so much disappointment.  Be on time.  Under-promise.  Over-deliver.  Become an expert at time and project management.  Often, parents fail on coming through on promises not because they intended to lie, but because the budget got out of control, they lost track of time or they had too many things going on to do them all.  Get a calendar.  Keep a budget.  Find a good to-do app on your phone.  The more organized you are, the more you'll be able to do what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it.  Your kids will learn to trust you.

5.  Be authoritative, not authoritarian.


Authoritative parents encourage independence (that's where your child is heading anyway, right?), but enforce boundaries and limits.  Authoritarian parents rarely present choices, options, independent thought or freedom.  They like control.  Don't confuse being authoritative with being permissive - authoritative parents might have the same boundaries as authoritarian parents.  They just believe that by pursuing discussion, questions and by listening as well as speaking, their children will come to share the values they share.  Most often, they do.

These are some strategies to help us weather the storms.  What would you add?  What have you learned?

This Week @ FBCG: Kickball Edition

Hey Parents,

It's Wednesday, so it's time for this week's blog with all the info you need for the week!

1.  BIGNITE is TONIGHT!  We're gonna be grilling out dogs and burgers and playing some kickball over at Moss-Wright park from 5:30 - 7:30.  We'll be meeting up near the sand volleyball courts so that's where you can drop off and pick up your students.  The event is free so bring your kids and bring a neighbor's kids!

2.  Sunday morning, our students will be diving into the book of Luke again during Sunday School....we get cranked up at 9:30!

3.  Sunday night both our guys and girls Bible studies will be meeting at 6 PM (girls at the Kelly house, guys at the McMillan house).

4.  All of you should receive a letter in the mail sometime this week about our Graduate Recognition breakfast that we will be having on Sunday morning, May 20th.  Please be prepared to help us out in honoring our seniors by providing a breakfast dish as instructed in the letter.  If you are the parent of one of our seniors, please know that we don't expect you to cook anything...we just want you to come!

5.  Parents of Seniors - I need 10-12 pictures of your seniors ASAP to put together the Senior video...it would be best if you could bring me a digital copy if you have one, but if not I can scan them in.  Also we want to invite you to come in (at your earliest convenience) to record a audio message to your senior that we will play behind the pictures.  You can call me (615-838-9755) or email me (Jeffkelly@fbcgoodlettsville.com) to set up a time to do this.

6.  If your student is going to Centrifuge with us this summer, we need to get the second payment in towards their balance.  This is a $100 payment.  If you are using Kroger funds, please email me at the address above or Elizabeth (elizabeth@fbcgoodlettsville.com) to let us know so we can get the funds moved.  If you have not paid your $50 deposit that was due last month, we will need a payment of $150 this week to hold your student's spot.  After this coming Sunday we will begin the process of dropping spots that have been left unpaid (if we don't it ends up costing the church an extra $50 per student spot that we hold onto that is left vacant).  Please contact me if we need to work out additional payment options for you and your student, and we'll be happy to do so!

7.  During the week of June 4-8 we will be hosting VBS and GFUGE here at FBCG.  As part of our GFUGE event we are in need of 4-5 homes that would be willing to let 8-12 students crash at their homes on Mon-Thurs evenings.  You would not be responsible for feeding any meals to students, but rather simply allowing a place for them to crash and sleep in the evenings.  We also would need you to help us transport them to the church for VBS each morning and to help get them back to your homes each evening.  I know this is a lot to ask (4 whole nights!!!) but this is a crucial component of the social aspect of the event.  If you would be willing to help us by hosting a group of students please let me know ASAP!

8.  Friday night, May 18th we will be having a campout and bonfire at the Boxwell Springs Boyscout campground.  This will be a co-ed event with students sleeping in cabins.  We'll grill on the bonfire, play some capture the flag and have a great night of fun...more details TBA next week.

That's a lot of info so let me know if you have any questions....below you'll find a little self-check for you as parents this week:

5 Signs You Lack Integrity as a Parent
We all want to see our kids become the kind of people we imagine they can become.  To some degree we want to see that in their careers, but at the most basic level we want to see that in their character and heart.

How do you do that?  I recently heard Mary DeMuth summarize it beautifully, "Become the person you want your child to become."

Two words: "Wow" and "Exactly."  That's it, isn't it?  The problem, of course, is that for many of us, we long to see in our kids things we don't see in ourselves.  And that's an issue - an integrity issue.

And the older your kids get, the easier it is for them to spot an integrity issue in you as a parent.  If you want them to be something or do something and they don't see it in you, things fall apart pretty quickly.

Integrity is about making it through trauma.  The Latin root for the word simply means "in tact."  In the same way we speak of a building that survived a hurricane as having structural integrity, a person shows they have integrity when they survive a crisis or stand up to a test.  And sometimes parenting feels like a non-stop series of tests.  It tests everything we've got.

While there are many things that compromise our integrity, here are five signs that how your integrity as a parent needs to grow:

1.  It's about you, not them.


Do a heart check.  It's great to want your child to be honest or responsible.  But why?  Is it because you want to see that in them?  Or is it also because you want to be known as a mom or a dad with great kids?  If it's about you more than it's about them, they'll eventually realize it and it will lessen their trust in you.

2.  You aren't modeling what you're saying.


It's one thing to tell your kids to control their temper.  It's another thing to control yours.  It goes without saying that what you do carries far more influence than what you say, unless what you say is consistent with what you do.

3.  You and your spouse aren't on the same page.


I realize this is almost an epidemic in parenting, but you simply need to do the hard work of getting agreement on key issues with your spouse.  The older your kids get, the more important this is.  Not only will your kids learn to manipulate the gap they see, the gap itself is confusing and disappointing to them.  Although they might never admit it, they want you to be on the same page.

4.  You fail to do what you said you were going to do.


This isn't just about keeping promises; it's about keeping your word in everything.  Better to say nothing and surprise your kids by delivering something great than blurt out an intention you can't fulfill.  Don't promise a trip to Disney when you can't even afford a trip to Dollywood.  Don't say you'll be there at 3:30 and show up at 3:45.  Ultimately, your kids lose confidence in you when you fail to deliver.  It's a trust issue.  Under-promise and over-deliver.

5.  You are a controlling parent.


Controlling parents ultimately lose the hearts of their kids.  If you don't believe me, ask yourself this question: how do you as an adult like it when someone tries to control you?  Precisely.  Why would your kids be any different?  You can be authoritative without being authoritarian.  If you are trying to control everything your child does, you might be successful when your kids are in preschool, but when high school comes along, it will be a whole other story.  Control incites either compliance or rebellion.  It never creates healthy relationships.

If you start to address issues like these, you will grow in integrity.  You will become more of the person you want your child to become!

What insights have you guys gained on parenting with integrity?  What would you add to this list?

Have a great week!
Jeff