This Week @ FBCG

Hey Parents,

Believe it or not today is the last day of January....the first month of 2012 has already come and gone!!  I hope you and your family have gotten 2012 off to a great start!  I wanted to let you know about a few things coming up this week:

BIGNITE is Tomorrow Night!
Tomorrow night, Wednesday Feb. 1st we'll be hanging out up in The Attic for some BIGNITE fun!  The doors are open at 5:45 and we'll have some Chick-Fil-A for the students and we'll also be playing some Worst Case Scenario/Disney Survival Trivia!  Students will be grouped together into teams to test their knowledge and should be a good time for everybody!  Make sure your students are there!

FBCG @ The Movies
Friday night, February 3rd we'll meet at Regal Cinemas at Indian Lake in Hendersonville at 7:00 to see "Big Miracle"....think Free Willy trapped in ice and you get the idea of the plot.  The movie starts at 7:20. Students will need money for a ticket and refreshments if they choose....feel free to bring the whole family!

Valentine Girls
On Tuesday night, Feb. 14th, Crystal and Lydia will be hosting all the youth girls at the Kelly's house for a girls night of fun and fellowship on Valentine's Day.  They'll do some fondue and make desserts and have a "girl's night".  There will be no cost to the girls.  Times will be announced in the next few days.

GLO Sign-Ups
We have our GLO weekend sign-ups ready to go on the church website.  Please log on and get your students and their friends registered.  GLO weekend is February 16-19 and $30 covers all their weekend activities!  We are excited that we have made it possible to allow our students to bring their unchurched friends for free and students can get them signed up online as well.  You can follow the link below to the website to get registered.

http://fbcgoodlettsville.com/glo2012

Hope you all have a great week!  Here's a thought for you as you finish out this Tuesday!  It's a great article by Kendra Fleming about Pitching Fits!

Pitching a Fit

Confession: Sometimes I watch the show Hoarders. It totally freaks me out and yet I watch. I don’t know if it inspires me to clean my house or I just like freaking out over a house filled with cats. Anyway, the other day I was watching it and a 40–year-old woman threw a total, out of control tantrum, complete with yelling and screaming and stomping of feet.

Now here’s the thing. I’m around two-year-olds a lot. And when a two-year-old throws a tantrum it’s not pleasant, but I will admit sometimes it looks so silly that I smile a little bit. Especially since it’s not my child. When you’re two, it’s expected that there will be an occasional melt down. No real harm done.

But when a 40-year-old woman pitches a great big ‘ol fit. It ain’t cute. Somewhere along the line she didn’t learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. She didn’t learn to communicate effectively when she was upset. She didn’t learn self-control.

When you’re two and you pitch a fit, you can’t cause too much damage. When you’re two and you throw yourself on the floor you don’t have too far to fall. When you’re so mad at your mommy that you want to call her names, the worst you can do is “stinky face.”

But when you’re 40 and you throw yourself on the floor, or you throw anything for that matter, someone is going to get hurt. And your words, when unleashed in anger can cause damage to those around you that can never be undone.

Self-control really matters. And the best place to begin strengthening that muscle is when you are a kid. It’s so much harder when you’re 40—and so much more ugly.

When your child is two, you can expect a lack of self-control. It’s who they are. They are immature. While understanding that it’s appropriate for their age you’ve got to start guiding them toward self-control. One of the best things you can do with a young child is to make sure that they DO NOT get what they want when throwing a fit. If they want attention, ignore them. If they want a candy bar at the grocery store and melt into a screaming puddle, leave the store.

Don’t let their lack of self-control benefit them in any way. Easier said than done when your little darling turns into a fire-breathing monster, right?

As your kids get older, begin teaching them how to push that pause button, take a deep breath and make a better decision. So, when you see it building in them, and you see them about to blow a gasket, call a time out. Teach them how to recognize how they’re feeling, take a deep breath, gather themselves and choose their actions instead of letting their actions take over and choose for them.

By the time your kids are heading to their teen years your hope is that they are practicing a lot more self-control. Your goal is that they are able to think through the consequences of their lack of control and make better choices. They’re still learning. Mistakes will be made. But you should see a lot of progress from when they were two!

Teaching your kids to have self-control starts when they are young. It’s an important job. And even though you and I both still struggle with aspects of self-control, I hope I don’t ever see you or any of your kids pitchin’ a fit on an episode of Hoarders!

This Week at FBCG

Hey Parents,

Wanted to give you some info on a few events coming up this week:

This Saturday we have several things going on...our guys will be playing some Laser Adventure while our girls head to Sips and Strokes to get their paint on.  Both events are $25 which is more than we usually like to charge but we couldn't get around it this time, but as always don't let finances keep your student from coming.  Send them anyway and we'll take care of it no problem!   Both groups will meet at church at 10:00 AM and will  be back at 1:30 PM.  We also have a  shower for Josh and Lydia at the FLC from 2:00 - 4:00...they are registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, Target and Dillard's

Next Monday night, Jan 24th will be our first Man Movie Monday of the year....we'll be going to see Red Tails in Hendersonville and grabbing some grub at BWW before hand....time will be announced by Sunday!  We'd love to have both students and dads join us for a man night!

In February, we'll be having our GLO weekend on Feb 16-19.  The cost this year will be $30 and the best part is that your kids can bring their UNCHURCHED and LOST friends for FREE!  If your student wants to bring a friend to GLO and that student is actively involved in another church, we are asking them to pay the $30 attendance fee.  If you have any questions let me know, but online sign-ups will be up on the website by the end of this week!

Also, a thought for all of us on self-control.

Please Take Self-Control Seriously

There’s a strange-sounding passage written by an ancient writer thousands of years ago that says, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self control.”

The principle is sobering. If we are not careful, our homes can become like broken down cities that are vulnerable to a variety of dangerous elements that threaten the physical safety of those who live there. There are two things about self-control that are important for parents to remember:

1. The lack of self-control sets up your children for a shaky future.

Experts link the lack of self control to addiction, bad health, debt, procastination, eating disorders, and more. Duke University researches did a study following 1,000 children for 30 years, examining the effect of early self-control on health, wealth and public safety. The study implied that those with lower self-control experienced negative outcomes in all three areas, with greater rates of health issues like sexually transmitted infections, substance dependence, financial problems, and crime.

These results show that self-control can have a deep influence on a wide range of activities. In other words, the lack of self-control breaks down walls of protection and exposes you to things that can destroy your future.

2. Self-control can actually be learned.

One of the myths parents buy into is that you can’t teach self-control because it’s a part of how a child’s personality is wired. Most counselors agree that anyone can learn self-control. It’s not easy…it has to be intentionally and continually developed. But just like you would use your skill to build a wall back in places that are broken, you can build more self-control into your home.

You can affect how your kids learn self control when you

• implement the right structure and schedule.
• pursue moderation in how you eat, play video games, watch TV, use your computer.
• establish a system for homework and chores.
• instill healthy financial habits of giving and saving.
• create values in how you speak to each other and express frustrations.

Experts tend to agree that developing self-control is as much of a physical discipline as it is mental gymnastics. The problem is that it means we have to first be willing to make it personal. We have to confront areas in our lives where we lack self-control so we can be a better model to our kids.

This is where it hits home: it is easier to ignore the issue of self-control than it is to do something about it. This month, look for ways to build self-control into your own life and the lives of your children. You wouldn’t neglect fallen walls in your house or a damaged roof…be at least as attentive to the habits that are going to determine your kids’ futures.

If you have any questions please let me know!  Have a great Tuesday!

Jeff

January Activities

Hey Parents,

A couple of quick notes about events coming up in January!

On Saturday January 21st we will be taking the guys to play some outdoor laser tag at Drake's Creek Activity Center....We'll meet here at the church at 10:00 AM and return at 1:30 PM.  The cost is $25 and that covers the full 2 1/2 hours of gaming.

That same Saturday we'll be taking the girls to Sips & Strokes in Hendersonville where they will get their artistic skills on!  Again, we'll meet at the church here at 10:00 AM and return at 2:00 PM.  The cost is $25 and that covers their canvas, paints and it's let them bring their artwork home!

That same afternoon we'll be throwing a wedding shower for Josh & Lydia (the work with our middle school students, in case you didn't know) at the FLC from 2:00 - 4:00.  They are registered at Beth, Bath and Beyond, Target and Dillard's

As always, if cost is an issue - please let us know...we always have folks ready and willing to sponsor students, so please don't think that it's a problem or a burden!

Hope to see your students tonight @ IGNITE in The Attic....doors open at 5:45

Heffe

2012 has started at FBCG

Hey Parents,

Well we are 10 days into 2012, and we are excited about what's ahead at FBCG for our church and more specifically our student ministry!  We'll be bringing a strong and encouraging message to your students tomorrow night at IGNITE...we're going to share with them how 2012 can be a life-changing year for them if they want it to be!  We hope to see your students at 5:45 PM in The Attic tomorrow night (it's the first week of the semester so let's not bow to the almighty "homework" this early!)

Also found this post and wanted to share it with all of you.  Have a great Tuesday!

How To Raise A Jerk
Meet Alex.  Alex is not a jerk.  Alex is a typical 13 year old growing up in a good home with parents who want to make sure he develops good character.  But parenting any kid like Alex can be confusing.

Some leaders say too many who work hard at building children's self-esteem are raising kids who will exhibit a lifestyle of entitlement and egotism.  Other specialists say those who talk about children being innately bad are raising a generation that feels inferior and insignificant.  Every expert has an opinion and it's hard to know where the line actually is.  Many promote their agenda by pushing the opposing opinion to the extreme.

One of the keys to parenting with balance is helping your children develop an attitude of humility.  Every child has the potential to grow up and understand why it's important to "put others first."  There is just a fine line between raising kids who have a healthy self-esteem and kids who are too egotistical.  A life of arrogance that goes unchecked can result in a sad and lonely existence for someone, and frankly there are enough self-centered people around.  How does someone develop an overinflated sense of self-worth and entitlement?

Here are a few ideas to help you effectively raise a jerk:

• Protect them from the consequences of their own mistakes
• Make sure you do whatever they can do for themselves
• Keep them away from anyone who thinks differently than they do
• Try to give them everything they want
• Tell them over and over again you just want them to be happy
• Convince them that they are more special than other kids
• Always take their side when they get in trouble with their teacher at school
• Always take their side whenever they are in a conflict with a friend
• Keep insisting that they are the best player on the team
• Don't give them consistent opportunities to help or serve other people
• Never require them to do chores
• Reinforce their prejudices about people from different cultures of backgrounds
• Make your relationship with them more important than your relationship with your spouse
• Rarely express genuine gratitude to those who help you
• Teach them to talk more than they listen
• Never let them hear you say "I was wrong.  I am sorry."

Maybe you can add a few ideas of your own....on how to raise a jerk

Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday!  We'll update the blog tomorrow with some info about upcoming events for this month!

Heffe