This Week @ FBCG: The Normal Edition

Hey Parents,

I thought I would give your eyes a break from the orange blog background...so hope you enjoy the new sleek blue and black!!

Ok, well we finally have a normal "week" around FBCG, but we still have some great things going on church-wide that we want you to be aware of so here we go....

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT!!  We'll be closing out our 3-week series on dating tonight by talking about being single...I know, I know....it seems weird to talking about being single while talking about dating, but the truth is that this is the "relationship status" that most of our students currently find themselves in...so we're gonna talk about being okay with being single (your welcome, dads!) and how that lines up with the world's view of singles.  We'll have some good discussion and some good fun so SEND YOUR YOUTH!!  Doors to The Attic open @ 5:45!

2.  Sunday will be a fun day here at FBCG....during Sunday School our students will be diving back into the book of Luke, which they started last week.....we'll be dedicating our new Sanctuary in both services, and following the second service we'll be getting together as a church family for a picnic lunch at Moss-Wright park.  Praying for some sunshine and good weather!

3.  We will not have Bible studies this Sunday night.

4.  Next Wednesday night, May 2nd we will be having BIGNITE at Moss-Wright Park where we will play some kickball and also grill out some burgers and dogs...it's free to the students and we'll be at the park from 5:30-7:30.  More info coming your way next week!

That's all for this week...Here's some food for thought as we close out:

Turn Off the Lights by Carey Nieuwhof

There are two kinds of people who live in a house: People who leave the lights on, and people who turn the lights off after others who have left the room and forgotten to.

I am the second type.  I spend most of my free time walking around our house turning off lights (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration.), but I must confess that something bad happens inside me when I see an empty room with the lights on.  I start wondering: "How could responsible, mature people be this inconsiderate and this irresponsible?  I mean, really, how difficult is it to remember to turn the lights off when you leave a room?  You seem to be able to remember to turn them on.  How could your memory be that horrendous?"

I think, honestly, this describes something that happens to almost all of us with the people we know the best.  Their little quirks, shortcomings and character flaws annoy us more than they ought to.

Which makes it very difficult to truly honor the people we live with, doesn't it?  Isn't it strange that it's easier for most of us to honor someone we don't know than it is to honor someone we see all the time?

It's easier to gather in a public forum to honor a hero we've never met who has come home from service overseas than it is to honor a hero in your own home.

Why is that?  The answer, I think, is that we simply know the people we live with better.

If we got around the strangers and acquaintances we hold in high esteem, we would learn that they have their shortcomings and character flaws.  They may have done some remarkable things, but often it was within the context of a sea of mistakes, just like the rest of us.

Now, watch what happens to most of us.  Because we don't know the strangers we honor well, we fill in the gap of information that we don't know by assuming the best about them.  I'm sure they turn off all the lights when they leave the room, after all, they received a congressional medal of honor.


And for many of us, that's the difference - we assume the best of people we know the least, and as difficult as it is to admit, we assume the worst of the people we know best.

When faced with a gap in information at home, we assume that they did the wrong thing, not the right thing.  The lights are on in the living room and you don't even need to be told who did it; you KNOW, because he/she always, always, always leaves the lights on.

Now tell me, when you confront them about the lights, how does that conversation usually go?  Exactly.  It's a no-win.

So why not change your assumption about the people you live with?  Why not decide there's a perfectly good explanation as to why they forgot to turn off the lights/empty the dishwasher/do their homework?  Why don't you assume they meant to, but forgot?  Got called away by something urgent?  Left the room to help someone else?  Were coming back to get it done but you just happened to walk in early?

Three things will happen.

• First, you'll have a lot less conflict in your home.
• Second, you'll feel better about the people you live with, and they'll feel better about you.  You will begin to honor each other.
• Third, people might actually start turning off the lights.  Because you've treated them as responsible people who tend to do these things.  People have a way of becoming what we believe about them.

What have you learned about assuming the worst of believing the best?  Why do you think you find it difficult to believe the best about the people around you?

What do you guys think....you know we have a comments section here on the blog so feel free to interact, let me know if you agree or disagree and your experiences!

Have a great Wednesday!

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: Starting Luke Edition

Hey Parents,

We've had quite a busy few weeks here in the life of our church at FBCG, so it's nice to welcome a "normal" week this week!  Here are a few bits of info for you this week:

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT!  Last week we started a new series on dating and we will continue that tonight  as we talk about break-ups and how to go through it or initiate it in a way pleasing to God.  We'll also play some Bear, Hunter, Ninja!  Doors to The Attic open @ 5:45...hope to see your student there!

2.  This coming Sunday morning, we'll be starting a new study on the book of Luke during our Sunday School time.  After 5 weeks of "sex talk", I think we all will welcome a new direction!!

3.  Sunday night Bible studies are still going for our guys and girls even though all of our adult classes have ended for the semester.  Bible studies start at 6 PM and are at the Kelly house (girls) and McMillan house (guys).

4.  The week of June 4-8 we are going to be hosting 2 exciting events here @FBCG.  We will be hosting VBS and GFUGE.  More information will be coming your way about GFUGE in the upcoming weeks, but we are looking for 4 to 5 homes that would be willing to let students crash in the evenings during the week.  If you would be willing to consider hosting a group, please let me know!

That's it for this week!  Check out a thought for you guys below:

Honor: Who We Are Not What We Do
We're approaching the time of the school year when we'll honor our young people: from high school graduates in their cap-and-gowns and life-will-change-forever speeches to kindergarteners earning ribbons for tying their shoes to "participation trophies" for you name the sport.  It's pretty easy to get honored by somebody during this season of accomplishment.

Honor, though, is more than a shelf full of trophies or even a yearbook full of accolades.

True honor comes not because of what someone has done, but because of who someone is.

Lexographer Samuel Johnson defined honor in this 18th century old-school way: "nobility of soul....magnamity.....a scorn of meanness."  I like that last one....wouldn't we all be better off if we had a "scorn of meanness?"  Honor is about a quality of virtue, not a quantity of accomplishments.

When we define honor that way, it doesn't come and go with seasons of approval and distress.  When we honor people because of who they are instead of what they have done, honor becomes a permanent attitude, an enduring way of regarding someone with hope and respect.

Stuff may lose value over time, but not people.  If we see people the way God sees people...If we allow honor to flow from our own relationship with God...we'll be less likely to practice a strings-attached honor and more likely to reflect His unconditional care and compassionate understanding.

One of the best ways we can honor God is by honoring those who reflect the image of God, and that's everybody.  For our kids, that means we can teach them from an early age to live out Romans 12:10: "Love each other deeply.  Honor others more than yourselves."

When someone understands the principle of honor, it changes the way they treat everyone.

• They tend to see people that are typically overlooked by society, with a different kind of value.
• They tend to see those who are in authority with a different kind of respect.
• They tend to see their peers with a different kind of appreciation.

People start showing honor when they understand those around them were created by God, and in the image of God.  As parents, you have an opportunity to teach our children to look at the people around them in a different way and value them not for their accomplishments, but for their true worth.

Have a great week,

Jeff

Purity Rings

Hey Parents,

I just realized that I had not included the info about purity rings in the blog updates that we're going out to you guys over the last few weeks.  Thanks to Lesia Brown, I figured this out and let me say how sorry I am!  I thought I had already sent you guys the information through the blog, which I hadn't.  This one is all on me!

With that said, we would have ordered our rings from a Lifeway distributor - so if you are interested in getting a ring for your student before Sunday, you can stop by a Lifeway store which will have them in stock on hand or you may watch to look at a different jewelry boutique.  Most of the "Purity Rings" that Lifeway has are priced from $30 and below.  Again, I am so sorry for the mix-up on MY part and if there is anything I can do to help you locate a ring, please let me know!

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: Student Dedication Edition

Hey Parents,

I hope you and your families had a blessed Easter weekend!  Easter is always an encouraging reminder to me to try to live my life in a way worthy of what Christ did for us on the cross!  I hope you had some time to reflect on what Christ did you too!

This is another exciting week @ FBC because we should be back in our sanctuary this Sunday...so here's some info for you about a few things this week:

1.  IGNITE is tonight....We're starting a series on dating tonight, so we know that will be fun!!  We'll play a game, worship together and then dive into God's word for some Bible study.  Doors to The Attic open @5:45...see your students there!

2.  Sunday morning during our 10:30 service we will be having a special prayer time for our students and their families.  As I hope everyone is aware, the last several weeks we've been talking through purity and God's design for our hearts and bodies.  We'll be wrapping that series up this Sunday in Sunday School and so we want to close this time out with a time where students and parents can commit to praying and seeking God's will for their lives.  During the 10:30 service, students and parents will be asked to come forward to the altar to pray together in family groups.  Even if you normally attend the 8:30 service, I encourage you and your family to consider hanging around for the first few minutes of the 10:30 service to participate in this corporate time of prayer and commitment.  Some parents will be giving Purity rings during this time which is welcomed.  Our students will be facing many tough choices and decisions in the years to come and I hope you as parents will commit to lifting them up in prayer daily!!  Please let me know if you have any questions about this time!

3.  Sunday night will be our last "Recess" class for our parents.  We've had a great time discussing all kinds of things together on Sunday nights and if you haven't been able to join us yet, I encourage you to give it a shot this week.  We'll be up in The Attic @6:00, while guys and girls Bible studies will be going on at the regular times and places.

That's all I 've got for you guys this week...again please let me know if you have any questions about our family prayer time this Sunday...we'll see ya then!

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: Easter Week Edition!

Hey Parents,

A few quick tidbits for this week:

1.  BIGNITE is TONIGHT!  We've moved it back to the church since they are calling for rain tonight, so we'll be having a Pizza, Popcorn and PJ Movie Night!  Students are welcome to wear their comfy PJ's (as long as they are appropriate!!) to The Attic tonight....we'll either be watching The Princess Bride or The Goonies...students are able to cast their vote online on Facebook for their choice....the movie will start @ 5:45!

2.  We're taking a break from our Pure Sex series this week to celebrate Easter.  We'll close out our series next Sunday and we'll be concluding it with a family prayer time on Sunday monday during our 10:30 AM service.  During that time we will have a special time where we will ask students and their families to come to the altar to pray for God's protection, guidance, wisdom and strength in the lives of their students...we hope you'll join us for this time!

3.  We will not have any Sunday night activities this week due to Easter.

That's it for this week...we'll see ya Easter Sunday morning!

Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: The Dreaded "M" Word Edition

Hey Parents,

Hope you're having a great week...here's some info about what's going on in our student ministry this week:

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT!  We'll have some worship, play Look Up, Look Down, and close out our study series on the elements of the Easter story and how they play out through the whole of Scripture.  Doors for The Attic open @ 5:45 PM...hope to see your students there!

2.  This Sunday morning, we'll be talking about masturbation with our students.  This is one of the most dreaded topics of discussion for parents, students....well just about everybody.  So why are we talking about it??  That's easy...because it's something our students struggle with right now, or will struggle with in the upcoming years.  Our girls will also be talking a little bit about how God designed the heart of a woman and will discuss the importance of guarding not only their bodies, but their hearts as well!

It should be an interesting morning...make sure to send you students Sunday morning!

3.  Sunday nights, we have been having a great time in our "Recess" class.  We've had some great discussion, talked through some tough issues and most importantly, we've lifted our kids up in prayer.  I really want to encourage you as parents to come give it a try...we only have 2 more weeks together before the summer schedule hits, so come this Sunday night and hang out!  We start up at 6:00 in The Attic....and you can drop your students off for their Bible studies as well!

We've been averaging about 15 girls on Sunday nights and 6 guys....and about 17 parents!!

4.  This past week, our first Centrifuge deposit was due.  If you forgot to pay or just missed out getting your student signed up, you can do so this week.  Right now we have a group of about 25 going, but there are still plenty of spots available.

Also, we have folks in the church who are offering to sponsor any students who want to go to camp, but just can't afford it right not, so please don't let finances be a roadblock to your student coming to camp!

I hope you all have a great week...a thought for you as we close out today:

Forget About It
In the February issue of Scientific American Mind they had an article all about your memory and learning how to erase distractions.  It challenges the idea that the brain is simply a "passive storage unit."  The editors suggested that your mind "behaves like a seamstress who sews concepts from the threads of vital information while snipping away extraneous material."

According to the special report, "the best memory is not the one that holds the most data, but the one that can deftly distinguish between the pieces to keep and those to discard."  The brain is evidently intricately designed to prioritize information.  Without that ability our memories would be overloaded with so much negative, superfluous and competing content that we would ultimately shutdown or go insane.

The brain is amazing.  What you can learn to forget or remember definitely helps you survive.  It's the reason why-

You forget the details of walking in on your parents when they were....
A baby doesn't remember getting circumcised.
A wife is willing to give birth to another child.
Someone can love again after they have been deeply hurt.
People can start over after a natural disaster.
No one really remembers a politician's promises.

I'm thankful for my brain's ability to filter through so much irrelevant and negative information.  The mind's skill to prioritize may be more critical than we realize.

How to stay focused on what is most important may be the most important thing you ever teach your kids.  Life is really about sorting through and organizing countless experiences, relationships, and even extraneous material so that whatever is most critical is never forgotten.  There are a number of ways we communicate what's important to our kids.

The questions we ask.
What we do with our time.
The stories we tell.

I wonder sometimes what our kid's brains will remember as the important stuff.  I had a discussion with my parents a few weeks ago about things I remember growing up and things I don't.  It's interesting how some of the things they reminded me of I had completely forgotten.  I could make a list right now, but I suspect your brain would discard it pretty quickly.  So, I will just give you one memory that I have never forgotten.

When I was eight, I heard my dad stand in front of a group of kids and explain how he became a Christian.  It is a very vivid and clear memory even though it happened 26 years ago.  For whatever reason, my brain logged it as critical data and it was permanently stamped into my memory.  Since then, millions of pieces of information have been discarded, but not that one.

There's a book out called Sticky Faith written by Dr. Kara Powell.  Over the past few years, her team has done countless interviews with teenagers.  One of her leaders recently asked a group of teenagers individually if their parents had ever told them the story of how they became a Christian.  They were surprised that not one teenager knew how or when their parents had started pursuing a relationship with God.

I happen to believe the spiritual dimension of a child's life is important.  And although a lot of us are not sure how to talk about spiritual issues with our children, one simple way would just be to tell the story of how your faith started.  I personally think it will be something your children will always remember.

With all of the stuff they will hear while they are living in your house, that one piece of information will probably stick in their brain.  It did in mine.  It's just a thought.  What if you can act on it, before you forget it?

Have a great week,
Jeff

This Week @ FBCG: When Hormones Attack Edition

Hey Parents,
Just a couple of things for you this week:

1.  IGNITE is TONIGHT....Doors for The Attic open @ 5:45 PM.  Tonight we'll be playing a game called Clusters and we'll continue our look at the Easter story as it relates to the entire whole of Scripture and not just pull it out for a once-a-year story like we commonly do.  Hope to see your students there tonight!

2.  This coming Sunday morning, we'll be talking with students about the questions "How Far Is Too Far" as part of our Pure Sex series.  I want you to know that we will be addressing this issue from a Biblical standpoint Sunday morning, but I highly encourage you to have a talk with your student about setting boundaries and ways that you can help them to avoid situations that will make sticking to those boundaries difficult. (I know that the thought of talking about this with your kids is not a pleasant thought!) We've had 2 great weeks of discussion so far, and we're looking forward to another one this Sunday!

3.  Sunday night, our girls kick off a new Bible Study on the book of James at the Kelly house and the guys will continue their study on courage in the life of a Christian at Josh's house...both start @ 6 PM.

4.  Recess, our parent time, will be in The Attic, Sunday night @ 6 PM....come hang out for some snacks, fun and some good conversation about raising students!  Hope to see you there!

5.  Sunday, a $50 deposit is due for those students who are going to Centrifuge with us this summer.  There is still time to sign up and get your student registered.  It will be a great week for them this summer, so make plans to send them with us!  The trip is July 9-13 and the cost is $296.  If you didn't get an information sheet in the mail, please let me know and we'll get one to you!

I hope everyone has a great finish to their week...a thought for you below to get you through to Sunday!

Preparing Your Kids for Life Online
Almost every parent I know worries about technology and their kids.

When should my child get a phone?  Facebook?  Be allowed to game?  Get their own tablet or computer?  How do I know what's really going on?

I think the natural default as parents is to think about imposing external limits.  And external limits absolutely have a place.  It's good to monitor content, set age limits, establish maximum screen times and more.

But three things in the last 5 years have changed how all of us - including our kids - interact with technology:

1.  The rise of broadband.  Can we just say you access a lot more with high speed connections, a lot more quickly, than on dial-up?

2.  The emergence of mobile.  Everyone has access, everywhere.

3.  The influence of social networks.  A big part of life has moved online, 24/7, and the pull is almost irresistible.

Five years ago, what your kids saw and did was so much easier to control externally.  A family computer in a central location in the house with browser controls and parents nearby made it much easier to control where your kids went online.  Limit screen time and voila, you had a policy.

Smartphones, tablets, netbooks and laptops require a completely different strategy.  Most kids can be online all the time, wherever they go.  And most of them are.

So what do you do?

I think one of the biggest shifts we can make as parents is to help our kids develop internal values that character brings, not just be guided by the external limits a parent imposes.  Character, more than externally imposed limits, has the greatest potential to transform our children's lives online.  The difference is important:

External limits say you avoid things because somebody's looking
Character says you avoid them because it's the right thing to do.

External limits restrict screen time because your dad imposed a schedule
Character limits your screen time because you realize there are other important things in life

External limits say you restrict your browsing because others won't let you go there
Character says you restrict your browsing because you won't let yourself go there.

Externally imposed limits never carry the power of internally imposed values, because eventually we all get to a place where no one else is looking.  Every child grows up and moves out of the house.  And if all they've had are externally enforced limits, it might be a long time before they realize that some things are simply not wise or good, even if they are permissible.  And with handheld devices exploding, external limits don't work very well the moment your kids leave your sight.

It's our values that will carry the day when no one's looking.  And with mobile, the times when no one's looking are far more frequent that when someone is.

Don't get me wrong, externally imposed limits have a place, especially when your kids are young's.  They are critical.  But our goal is to prepare our children for adulthood.  Eventually it's up to them.

Here are three suggestions that can help you start the character conversation with your kids:

1.  Describe the online world as a place with ample good and also some bad.  If you're only negative about it, your kids won't trust your judgment.  They realize there is tremendous good available online.

2.  Talk honestly about the limits of externally imposed guidelines.  Explain that they'll be in situations where its 100% up to them to decide what's right and wrong, and help them prepare for those moments.

3.  Encourage feedback from them about their time alone online.  Some kids naturally want parental input, some naturally resist it.  Create a safe dialogue where they can come to you honestly about what they're struggling with.  If you can refrain from judging them or lecturing them on the things they could have done differently, you'll find they are much more willing to talk to you.

This is not at all a comprehensive list; this is new territory for many parents.  So feel free to let me know and suggestions or thought you have to help our students navigate the growing world of life online.

Jeff