Finding More Grace

Parents,

I think these are some great thoughts from Carey Nieuwhof, one of the creators of our ORANGE curriculum that we currently use with our students:

Everyone thinks grace is a great idea.  Who doesn't want unconditional love?

You long for it in your marriage, your kids long for it from their parents.  But living it out?  Well, that's another think entirely, isn't it?

So, how do you become more grace filled?  How do you ensure your patience isn't exhausted before breakfast, that your kindness extends to all situations and that you continue to believe the best about the people you love the most?

For me, grace doesn't always come naturally.  I need to work at it.

Here's how I tried to exhibit more grace daily:

I prayed about it.

I read my Bible more.

I tried harder.

I made a New Year's resolution.

I found accountability partners.

I had to apologize to those around me when I lacked grace.

All of that helped a little.  But none of it really changed the game for me.

Then, a few years ago, I stumbled on the one factor that in my experience, makes the biggest difference in my mood, my disposition, and my ability to sustain a grace-filled spirit.

Margin.

What's margin?  Margin is the white space in your life.  It's the down time when no one is making demands of you.  It's space to breathe.

It's eight hours of sleep.  It's down time in my calendar and taking a day off.  It's living at the pace we were created to live at.

When I have margin in my life, I'm more grace-filled.  I'm less edgy, I'm more sympathetic, I'm kinder.  I'm more generous.  I laugh more.  I love more deeply.

I have to work at margin.  If I'm not careful, I'll cheat sleep, fill up all the white space in my calendar with more meetings and more commitments.  And when I do that, I suffer.

When I have margin in my life, I display more grace.  It is the single biggest influencer on my mood and disposition.  

That's my secret.

I'm not going to suggest that this will work for everyone, but I'm curious.  Between work, driving the kids to every commitment on the planet, an active social calendar, homework, cooking and housework, how much margin do you actually have in your family?  Would scheduling some white space in your calendar increase or decrease your stress?  All I know is what it does for me.

I'd love to hear from you guys.  Has margin helped you?  What did you or what are you going to cut out?  How has that helped you live a more grace-filled life?  Or, do you have another secret?

Reading Romans

Parents,

I hope you're week has gotten off to a great start!  Let's dive into Romans, chapter 6, which your students took a look at yesterday morning during Sunday School!

READING ROMANS
Living a New Identity


Paul ends chapter 5 by giving us a nugget of hope when he states that "where sin multiplied, grace multiplied even more."  That's encouraging right?!  That statement lets us find comfort and confidence in the fact that no matter how big or small our past sin, it is covered by God's grace.  Surely this would motivate us to live apart from sin, as a response of gratitude to the Lord for his generous gift!  But this evidently wasn't the way that everyone in Rome was thinking.  Paul determined that someone might actually ponder the idea of continuing to live a life filled with sin.  I mean, God's grace is superior to sin's power in every way, so why don't we just keep on sinning and therefore evoke more and more of God's grace to cover it?  Hopefully, you find the previous question absolutely ridiculous!  But isn't this still how our world lives today?  We accept God's grace, but somehow we keep letting sin, a lot of times the same sins, regain a foot-hold in our lives.  Paul expounds in Romans 6:1-4 why we can live apart from sin.

See, Paul points out tin verses 2-3 that we have died to sin!  When we as sinners come to Jesus...when we repent and come to faith in Christ, we are baptized into Christ Jesus.  While the act of baptism is not a required action to receive salvation, the act itself stands for so much more....it is a visual representation that we have been baptized into His death.  The truth of our salvation is completely the work of Christ, and we are joined to Him in faith to receive the benefit of His sacrificial death on the cross!

Now it's important for us to understand something very clearly here....Paul was not teaching that sin dies to the believer but rather that the believer has died to the power of sin.  Sin is always going to be a temptation for me, for you and for your kids, but our faith in Christ enables us to have the power to avoid it and reject it.  This is often times extremely difficult because of our human weakness, but we cannot use that as an excuse.  The power of God which raised Christ from the dead also raises us from the death of sin and enables us to live in a new way of life!  How awesome is it to just think on that for a moment....the same power that was used to raise Christ from the dead is the same power at work in our lives as believers!!  Are you kidding me!  That's awesome!

Living as God Wants


As Christians we falter when we choose to follow the world's way rather than the Lord's way.  As believers we are now free not to sin!  This is one of those gifts that someone receives only after trusting in Christ....see before Christ, we are incapable of not sinning...but in Christ we are empowered to choose otherwise!  So Paul encourages his readers to not let sin reign in their lives!


We must be prepared to do battle everyday against the schemes and temptations of the Devil and the evil ways of the world.  In this fight we can often times find that our minds, tongues (speech), hands or feet serve as weapons - either in service of the unrighteousness or in service to God as weapons of righteousness.  Which way are you using them?  Which way am I using them?  That's an important question we have to ask ourselves.

As we read through Chapter 6 it became very apparent that God has released us as believers and has given us the power to reject sin, to flee from it and the power to conquer it in our lives.  The question that remains then is do we really want to leave our sins behind or do we somehow, strangely and perversely enjoy our sin more than we enjoy the freedom we find in Christ?  It's something for all of us to think about this week.

Next Sunday we'll be jumping into Chapter 7, so read through it sometime this week if you want to follow along with us!

Heffe

Grace and Discipline

Hey Parents,

Wanted to share this with you as you close out your week and head into the weekend!  Our student ministry team is praying for you as you lead your families!

Grace and Discipline by Carey Nieuwhof
No one would pretend that raising kids is easy.  It's a constant tension between grace:


I love you.

I see value in you.

I will never quit on you.

And discipline:


You can't write on the walls in crayon;

You can't call your sister/brother that word in this house;

You can't be out with the car until 2 A.M.

I know I feel the tension very deeply within me.  Often I feel that if I express too much grace, I will lose the battle in trying to correct my kids' behavior.  It's easy to withhold grace and love and communicate harshly thinking it's the only way to teach them.

But that style communicates that love is conditional, that it's dependent, that it's only there if they measure up.  And conditional love is not grace.  Grace is undeserved kindness.

If we think about it, it's also tension we feel within the nature of Christianity itself.  And maybe working through our faith tension provides insight into how we might parent.

Christians believe we are saved by grace through faith - and not by our "works".  In other words, we can't earn our salvation.  You can't be "good enough" to get into heaven, and the standard in eternity is not whether our good deeds outnumber our bad deeds.  Christ died in our place for our sins, and our response is to trust Him with our lives.

This is so clear on the one hand, but confusing on the other.  What about our deeds?  Where do they fit in? Do you just ignore them?  If they can't save you, why would you change?  Exactly how does that work?

Here's the clarification on the faith front:

We don't change in order to be loved.  We change because we've been loved.


Liberating isn't it?  You don't change long-standing habits and patterns so that Christ will love you; you change them because He loves you.

As a husband and an adult, when I mess up, Toni, my wife, can greet me one of two ways.  She can start with grace or start with discipline.  When she starts with discipline, I tense up, get defensive, and, if I don't stop myself, will start to blame someone or something or dig for excuses.  (Not proud of that, I'm just being honest here.)

But when she starts with grace and tells me she loves me, that she's disappointed, that there might be a perfectly logical explanation, and she begins with empathy, I melt.  I come clean.  It's so much easier for me to be genuinely sorry and resolve to change.

Are our kids any different?

What if we just adopted a stance of grace first, discipline second, as the default at home?  What if we decided that change is a response to love, not a condition for it?

The best way I know how to do this is to consistently communicate in a way that gives the relationship value.  Try this:

Don't discipline when you are angry in the heat of the moment.  Wait until you have calmed down.  Even if you need to stop something in the moment, have the conversation when you are rational again.

Start with how you feel about them (that's the grace part).

Then let them know how you feel about what they did and what the implications are (now the discipline).

And, in the same way we change most deeply because we've been loved, our kids can change because they've been loved.

Have a great weekend and hope to see you all Sunday,
Heffe

New Series "Babel" kicking off tomorrow night in The Attic!

Hey Parents,

We will  be kicking off a new series called "Babel with our students tomorrow, September 14.  Here's a preview for you guys!

What We're Talking About
Here is an overview of what we're talking about.  Listed below the summary is a "parent cue" to help you dialog with your child about the session.  The question is intended not just to be asked by you, but to be responded to by BOTH of you.  Use this opportunity to find out what God is teaching your student, and allow your student to see what God is teaching you as well.

Babel: Series Overview
What does a tower in ancient times built to reach the heavens and a cell phone have in common?  A lot more than you think.  The people responsible for the tower of Babel, we'll call them the Babel-ers, took the technology, the tools of their day and used them in a way that elevated themselves and took God out of the picture.  And the reality is that you and I have tools in our hands, the technology of our day, that we take and use in similar ways.  The technology itself isn't bad or good.  It's neutral.  But like the people of Babel, how we choose to use technology is important - it reflects the kind of relationship we have with it.  And the right kind of relationship with technology will help us to do the right kinds of things with it.

Session One: I Heart Technology (September 14)
Many of us are in a serious relationship - with technology.  We love it.  We need it.  It's a big part of our lives.  But some of us could care less.  We're just not that into it.  We don't need to text someone every minute.  Some of us don't even have a Facebook page. (Gasp.)  But whether we are totally committed to it, or could easily see our lives without it, we can't escape the reality that technology exists in our lives and in the lives of your kids!  And that's not always a bad thing.  Because technology isn't evil.  But what we do with it, how we use it, says a lot about our relationship with it.
Session One Parent Question: What is my relationship with technology (You may want to answer this one for each other....let your kid tell you what they see and then you let your student know what you see their relationship with technology as.)

Session Two: My Profile (September 21)
Who are you?  That's a good question.  You can let everyone know who you think you are.  You can upload pictures, list out your likes and dislikes and have people comment on your clever posts - allowing other people to get an idea of who you are.  But what if in the effort to try to manipulate our identity we have lost sight of who we really are?  And who are we really?  Who really has that say?  Technology gives you the illusion that you do, but what if our real identity went much deeper than what our latest status or profile said of us?  Technology does not have the final word on who we are.  It never has.  But who does?
Session Two Parent Question: If I took away all my technology, how would I feel about myself?  You may want to try this as an experiment one weekend.  No cell phones, no computers, etc...

Session Three: Social Network (September 28)
Today's technology gives us the ability to connect with people in more ways than ever before.  And with that ability comes an incredible power - the capacity to affect other people.  We can use technology to encourage people or show compassion.  We can use technology to help people in need.  Or we can use technology to hurt, slander or even destroy someone.  So how will you use technology?  How will you use this tool to affect the people around you?
Session Three Parent Question:  How can we use technology to do good as a family?

As always, please remember that you guys are always welcome to come and hang out with us in The Attic anytime you're interested to see what The Attic is all about!  Tomorrow night's gonna be a good one so I hope to see some of you up there!

Heffe

Reading Romans

Hey Parents!

Well this past Sunday was a little different for our youth up in The Attic.  We were pleased to have Terry Burkeen share with the students to open things up before they headed to their classes.  It was great to hear from him about the ministry taking place with Club 180 Ministries in Lynch, KY.  We are excited about planning a trip for our students to head up there in the months to come to help with this great ministry!  But let's get started with our Romans Recap for this week:

Last week we finished up Chapters 3 and 4, so this week we dove into Chapter 5 and we found some really encouraging things presented by Paul!

We Have Peace with God (Romans 5:1)
Paul starts out chapter 5 by summarizing in one word, therefore, the totality of his previous arguments make in 1:18-4:25.  The only reasonable conclusion to draw (and what God had revealed to Paul) was that believers are declared righteous by faith.  Righteousness cannot be earned by any amount or duration of good works; it is received only as a gift through faith in Jesus Christ.

Paul pouts out that the first bit of joy or "gift" that he feels he's received through this realization is the gift of peace with God.  Let's break this down a bit:

First, peace through Christ brings an end to the divine wrath we faced because of our sins.  Second, peace through Christ refers to the effective restoration of a loving relationship with our Creator.  Third, peace through Christ enables a new relationship among believers.  In Christ all barriers to unity and fellowship are effectively removed.  Fourth, peace through Christ empowers believers to become agents of genuine peace in a strife-filled world.

Paul declares that this peace of God comes to believers through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Jesus is the agent through whom we receive this amazing benefit!  We belong to God through Jesus!

We Have Christian Hope (Romans 5:2-5)
In addition to receiving peace with God through Christ, believers gain genuine hope that can withstand even the darkest times of trouble and affliction.  In Christ, we have obtained access into this grace in which we stand.

Paul declares that believers receive a complete supply of God's grace at conversion, yet its benefits keep on working in full force throughout our lives and in whatever situations we find ourselves.  It helps us stand strong in faith when we face life's trials.  Its is sufficient  to help us stand without fear before our Lord when He returns to claim His people.

God's continuing grace gives us cause to rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Because His loving grace is permanent - not fleeting - the promises of redemption and glory cause us to rejoice.

We always seem to have little difficulty feeling happy when life is rosy and everything seems to be going our way.  Those feelings of happiness, however, are not what Paul meant when he spoke of Christians' ability to rejoice.  Christian joy runs deep and endures because its source is the ever-flowing stream of God's grace.  That's why Paul could state that we as believers also rejoice in our afflictions.

This doesn't mean that we somehow have to enjoy suffering.  Rather it means we have confidence that God will use even our afflictions to bring about His good purposes in our lives.  The more we live faithfully amid afflictions, the more we build endurance.  As our endurance keeps growing, it produces proven character.  As we display this proven character time after time in diverse situations, we build an unquenchable hope.

This Christian hope that emerges from the nourishing flow of God's grace in our lives will not disappoint us.  Hope in God is hope that endures forever.  We know we can trust that God will fulfill His promises to the end.

A Christian can also live with enduring hope because of the Holy Spirit who was given to us!  The Holy Spirit is our indwelling Witness who testifies that God loves us!

We Have God's Love (Romans 5:6-11)
A third benefit of salvation is introduced by Paul - we have God's love.  He describes the vast gulf between diving love and human love.  This was revolutionary at the time because Jews were of the mindset at the time that they should bestow benefits only on people who deserve them.  Dying on behalf of another was not a consideration.  Paul is about to flip the script though!

Paul sets the stage by first stating that as a basic fact of the Gospel that while we were still helpless, at the appointed moment, Christ died for the ungodly.  Paul wanted his readers to clearly understand the nature of God's love!

First, God loves us when we were helpless.  This means that apart from Christ, we were completely unable to make any positive move toward God.  We could do nothing to save ourselves.

Second, Christ died for us when we were ungodly.  We could claim no moral goodness so as to make the case that we might be worthy of His death.

Third, Christ gave His life for us at the appointed time.  God's demonstration of His love for us through Jesus was no accident of history.

See, human love has its limits.  Paul could imagine a rare scenario in which someone might be willing to die on behalf of a just person or a good person.  We can imagine a parent willingly giving their lives for the life of a child.  However, the greatest imaginable case of human love cannot begin to compare to divine love in which while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

I don't know about you, but for me this is both a humbling chapter and also and encouraging one all at the same time!  Hopefully you will be encourage by the gifts that we find for us in Romans chapter 5!  Next week we'll tackle Chapter 6!

Heffe

BIGNITE, Queen of the Mall and Wrapping Up Rhythm!

Parents,

Tonight is BIGNITE!  IF you haven't been to a BIGNITE yet, we invite you to come tonight and see what's happening!  Tonight's theme is "Futbol Frenzy" and with the kick-off of the football season, we'll be having some football themed games and food!

First up we're having boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings (perfect tail-gaiting food) down at the Pavilion at 5:45 and then we're going to have a Punt, Pass, and Kick Contest to see which of our students, both high and middle, guy and girl can claim the ultimate prize!  We'll also be playing a game that combines the rules of Ultimate Frisbee with the rules of Soccer, except we'll be using a football!  Gonna be awesome!  If the rain happens to get us then we'll move upstairs to the Attic where we'll play some youth favorites!  Come hang out and enjoy BIGNITE!

Queen of the Mall
This Saturday our girls will be having an event built for all the mall and shopping junkies....aka all the women.  Girls will meet together at the church at 2:00 PM and head out to Green Hills Mall where they will be participating in a shopping scavenger hunt (your credit card is not required, so don't let them fool you!).  After that they'll do dinner together and be back around 8:00 PM.  Crystal Kelly and Cara Lord will be heading the day up so if you have any questions you can call or text Crystal at 865-742-8548.

Wrapping Up Rhythm
Just wanted to give you guys one more thought as we closed out our rhythm series this past Wednesday night!

Finding Myself in the Pages

I'm 33 years old, and life is already starting to catch up with me.  I'm certainly not old.  In fact, the older I get, the younger numbers like 40, 50, 60, or even 70 seem.  But there are just certain signs that are reminders that things have changed.  Like the spare tire that seems to be inflating around my mid-section over the past few years.  Or the ache in my back when I get up in the morning.

Okay, let me just say - I'm not a model for Men's Fitness by any means.  No one has ever used the words "six-pack" to describe anything about me.  I used to be fit in high school days when I was playing football and basketball....I had a regiment that I followed of extended exercise each day.  But since those glory days have passed, I have to admit that exercise has not been a priority in my life.

But there is just this annoying reality that is starting to haunt me - I need to take care, better care of myself.  I need to eat better.  I need to exercise more.  Blah, blah, blah.

Actually, I'm finding it more difficult to tune out those things I know I "should" do.  They are becoming things I need to do.  I'm realizing their importance because I'm seeing the effects of not doing them in my life.  My experiences are showing me the truth of what all those gym addicts have known for a while.

But those aren't the only things I know I "should" do.  Christianity comes with a whole list of those, doesn't it?  Serve others, pray, give till it hurts, die to yourself, read your Bible - just to name a few.

But the last one - read the Bible - is the one that seems to be a recurring theme in my life.  I love the Bible.  I really do.  I have been very blessed to be around people who had a passion for God's Word and it was contagious.  But the main reason I love the Bible isn't because other people like it, it's because I realize how much I need it.

When I attended the University of Tennessee, I hit a very low place my second year.  I had made some very bad choices and found myself in a very lonely and broken place.  One day, I was reading some random passages in the Bible, trying to find comfort.  I ran across a verse that fit just where I was at.

In 2 Timothy 4:16, Paul wrote to Timothy: "At my first defense, no one came to support, but everyone deserted me."  There was just something about those words that clicked that day.  I realized that people in the Bible hurt just like I did, and that maybe there was something more personal in the Bible than just facts and information.  So I looked in the concordance in the back of my Bible and found all the verses under the subjects "loneliness" and "broken".  Then I read each one.  Not only that, I grabbed a notebook and started writing them down.

And as I wrote, the words seemed to come alive more than any other point in my life.  The Bible was no longer a textbook to me.  It became something more personal and intimate.  It was the place where I not only saw myself, but I also saw God.  It moved from something I knew I "should" do to something else. I needed those words not just for that moment, but for my life.

Now the reality is that I don't always have that experience.  There are times when the Holy Spirit has showed me chapters and verses that I needed to hear, and spoke to my soul in ways that satisfied a deep longing.  And there are times when I've read a chapter, shrugged my shoulders and thought, "That was interesting."  There are even times when I read and said, "Huh?  What in the world were you doing there, God?"

But it's those times when I connect with God through His Word that keep me coming back - even if those times are days or weeks apart.  It's how I find peace.  It's how I get kicked in the butt when I'm out of line.  It's how I am reminded of who I am and who God is.

I don't read my Bible because I should.  I read it because I need to.  My everyday experiences consistently show me that need.  It's an integral way I can connect with God and He connects with me.

What about you?  Have you found yourself in the pages of the Bible.......ever?  If not, ask God to meet you there today.  Start reading.  Begin with a psalm, or reread some Old Testament story you heard as a kid.  Follow the adventure of the early church in Acts.  Or read Paul's letters in the New Testament.  And if you're struggling with something specific, like fear, trust or loneliness, find the verses that speak to those issues and write them down.

Hebrews 4:12 says that "the Word of God is living and active."  It came alive to me years ago, and many times afterwards.  Open it up and let it become more than just another good read today or something you should do.  Discover God and yourself in the pages.

See ya tonight
Heffe

Reading Romans

This past Sunday we covered our 3rd week in our study of the book of Romans by diving into chapters 3 and 4, so let's recap what we've hit so far....

In Romans 1:18-3:20, Paul laid out a full description  of human sinfulness.  He followed that description with a brief but profound description of God's plan of salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ (3:21-26).  In the verses we studied this week we see Paul present an extended argument to show that God's salvation has always been by faith and not by works of the law.

It's Through Faith
Paul starts off with a strong conclusion: a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.  People who understand fully their hopeless bondage to sin realize they have no recourse but to come humbly before God, trusting in Him to be merciful and forgiving.

Paul then draws a logical conclusion in verses 29 and 30 about salvation based on God's unity.  Because God is one, He offers one way of salvation to Jews and Gentiles alike.

Paul then addresses the relationship of the law and faith.  He's already declared that because of the law we know that all have sinned (3:23).  We continuously fall short of God's righteous standard, so in our own power we are incapable of keeping the law.  However this doesn't mean that faith cancels out the law.  Not only was the law still valid in its purpose, the way of faith was exactly where the law was designed to take people.  Paul simply points out that by coming to God in faith, we uphold the law.  We show that the law was right in exposing us as sinners who cannot and will not live consistently as God wants.  We need grace!

It's a Gift
The Jewish people were well acquainted with their ancestor Abraham's covenant relationship with God.  God considered Abraham His friend and commended Abraham for having kept His commandments.  It is conceivable that anyone knowledgeable of Abraham's Old Testament record might conclude that his works of righteousness gave him something to brag about.

Paul asserts that Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him for righteousness.  In this way, Paul underscored that Abraham had not earned righteousness by his works, as commendable as those works had been.  Abraham simply trusted in God, and God declared that's all He required of Abraham for establishing a right relationship.

Most of the Jews of Paul's day understood this point (found in Genesis 15:6) in exactly the opposite way as Paul was teaching.  Their point of error was considering that their forefather Abraham could boast before God that he had earned righteousness.  The Scriptures teach that faith alone establishes a right relationship; works of righteousness then come as evidence of the right relationship.

Paul then appeals to simple logic.  He called attention to an obvious difference between a gift and a wage.  Those who work for a living would never think of their paycheck as a gift.  Instead, they consider it something owed to them.

If those who believe in works-salvation were to think carefully about the logical implications of that doctrine, they would have to acknowledge they believe God owes them salvation.  Paul asserted that this is the logical, yet erroneous, implication of any form of self-righteousness.

Paul next equates God's crediting of righteousness by faith with a gift.  It is a gift offered even to the most unlikely of recipients.

It's By Grace
In the last part of Chapter 4, Paul gives emphasis to God's grace.  If salvation could be attained by works of the law or by ethnic heritage, then Abraham's physical descendants (the Jews) might think they had a reason to boast in themselves.  The Gentiles, however, would have no reason for hope at all.  Because God is a God of grace, Paul declares this was therefore the reason the promise is by faith.

As you can see we've only been in Romans for 3 weeks but we've already examined a TON of stuff...looking forward to unpacking some more next week....we'll jump into chapter 5!

Heffe